sex performance problemsThis is quite embarassing and I hope you keep my personal information unpublished. I am having performance issues with my girlfriend of 9 years. I cannot “get it up” long enough to please her. She is obviously unhappy with this and I wish there was something I can do about it.

You can rest assured that we never publish any of your information.

As for your performance issues, you need to pinpoint the reason behind this. There are many reasons why a man can’t perform in bed. Psychological and physical reasons. The right step to take here is to see a physician first. If all checks out, it’s time to see a psychologist about this. There are some sex therapists that work wonders.

In the meantime, show your girlfriend that she is not the reason for your performance problem. You can still enjoy loads of foreplay and adding sex-toys to the bedroom will help you keep her satisfied in the meantime until you’re able to get the help you need to start performing as you once did.  Keep her happy and keep her confident by showing her you’re still interested in her.

Talking to her about this is always helpful. Let her know that something is wrong and that you’ll be taking all the proper steps to rectify this issue. Being honest in this case is very important. You’ve been with her for 9 years so I’m assuming the lines of communication are open and healthy.

Don’t get down on yourself. Get checked out and see if the root of the problem can be pinpointed. Once you know what the issue is, you can start working on it.